Dad steals $5K from his 19-year-old daughter to pay off his car, daughter closes her bank account because he has stolen from her since she was 14: 'I lived with this for 5 years.'

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  • Would I be the bad guy if I closed my bank account to stop getting my money stolen?

    Hello, I (19 female) live at home with my parents, I have two older siblings both moved out but one of which is still mostly financially reliant on my parents (college). I first received a debit card at 14 as it was when I got my first job and wanted to save money. However I
  • very quickly noticed that some of the money would be taken every one in a while, upon confronting my dad he said it was to pay some bills and he would pay me back whenever he could. I understood and moved on but noticed I never really got paid back and more money was
  • always taken. I got over it and realized that being an adult is hard and he wouldn't take it for nothing, so I lived with this for 5 years.
  • A close-up of a person with freckles on her face
  • I am now 19, in college living from home, with a semistable income and I am starting to get more upset as my money is continually drained without any permission. Now if it was minor amount it would be okay but as of December 2025 I have gotten 5k taken from my account without permission and
  • practically forced to pay another 5k on top of that to pay off my car. I'm not able to work a lot because of school only about 20 hours a week and it's not a high paying job, so the idea of how much money I would have saved up if I wasn't getting it stolen is starting to upset me. I already
  • pay for my share of insurances and help buy food for the house and don't really know what else to do as this alone takes majority of my paycheck each week.
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  • So would I be the asshole for closing access to my bank account to stop the money stealing, and would it cause problems with the relationship I have with my parents. Any advice appreciated.
  • Cheap Theory1321 Definately NTA just close the account and create a new one. Your Bank can help you with that.
  • OkTechnician4610 Open a new account & move your money. Don't give anyone access to your account. Stealing from your child is an awful thing to do.
  • Nemphedisis You would absolutely not be the asshole and it's already crazy that they've been doing that. Even if you had been a minor - actually ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU WERE A MINOR then stealing your money is not an okay thing to do. You didn't make plans together or go "hey kid, if you want to contribute you can try to pay this and this amount if able a month" or something. No it was just a given that they were allowed to steal your money and that's nuts. I also say close the account and get a new
  • gastropodia42 Take them off the account. If they complain, tell them you need to plan for expenses.
  • Disastrous_Bell7490 Your dad is stealing. From his own child. NTA.
  • oylaura No! Immediately go to a different bank and make sure that they are not on any other accounts. Talk to someone at the new bank and tell them you're concerns. They can help you protect your assets. Also, get a hold of your birth certificate and any other legal documents, especially your social security card. Put them in a safe place, maybe someone else's house, a trusted relative or a safety deposit box. Not to be alarmist, but if your father will steal from you, it's entirely possible tha
  • Sirregularguy YTA to yourself. Do you realize if you got a new account at a different bank you would not have this problem? When he asks about it, tell him something about fraud and you had to close it down. Tell him your are broke when he asks for money. Most 19 year olds are anyway.
  • Flashy_blue-eyes YWNBTA Please take all of your money and open your own account. You work hard for your money and deserve some respect. If your parents asked for your help it would be one thing. But to just blatantly take your money without even a discussion means that they have no respect for you. That is YOUR money and as a mom myself that has access to my kids' accounts | would never just take their money like that. I understand that times are hard and in a pinch sometimes we need a bit of ex
  • Big_Hurry8067 NTAH! Firstly, just because they are your parents, doesn't mean they can take as they please. Boundaries should be respected by everyone. Parents love to say, I brought you into this world.. I raised you, fed you and cared for you... yah that's because it is their responsibility as parents. Children did not ask to be born and therefore did not put these responsibilities on their parents. It was and always will be a parent's choice to have children. Yes, you are their child, yes the
  • MizzyvonMuffling Freeze your credit as well!

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